I don’t care that you got into drugs for three months straight, or how much sleep you lost in that period. I don’t care that you went home and fucked that person and woke up at 6am hating everything about yourself, or that you smoked so much you sounded as though your lungs were giving out.
You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.
You’re just human, and being human means you need to survive and you do so whichever way you deem fit, fuck everyone else.
Where’d you get them scars? How blue is your heart? Is it sad enough to break? She said “it’s sad enough to break”. How long was your life? Was it cold and strange like mine? Are you man enough to lay here? She said “I’m man enough, my baby, come see about me”.
All of that stuff I draw from my own life. Loss is the first thing I knew. I was born into loss. My mother had me and raised me. So I didn’t have two parents like all the other kids in my neighborhood. I remember going, ‘Wait, Johnny down the street has a mom and a dad - where’s my dad?’ And then you go to school and you feel like you don’t fit in. That kind of stuff puts a real indelible stamp on a child.
"Thankfully, my mom remarried, and my stepfather was very cool. He pretty much taught me everything I know about surviving in this world. But we moved around a lot because of their jobs, so I wound up going to all these different schools. Again, I never felt like I belonged; I was always the new kid.
"Losing people was a way of life for me. Any time somebody came into my life, I had to view them as temporary because I knew that I was probably going to be yanked away from them soon. It plays with your head. Most kids were looking to the future and thinking about what they were going to gain, whereas I looked ahead and all I could think was, What am I going to lose next?
“I don’t know, I just feel like I should just stop thinking about it, you know, but I can’t. Maybe I’ve seen too many movies, you know, love at first sight. What do you think about love at first sight? You think you can love somebody just by looking at them? But the thing is man, I felt like I knew her, you ever get that feeling? Yeah, I probably don’t right… it felt like I did though.”—Blue Valentine (2010)